no money...

new words include beetle-bug and bagel. really, if she wants to say something, she just says it. multi-syllabic words have not been slowing her down. she says a lot of them just fine on her own, or. if we break them down, she will say things syllable by syllable.

"no money." i don't know why, but she started saying that last night and thought it was hilarious. just laughed and laughed.

the house hunting thing is discouraging. i feel like i'm stuck between jumping back into being comfortable and just relaxing where we are and diving forward with all of the home showings and pre-approval processes and home listing searches. it's such a frustrating place to be. on the one hand, we feel like the market is going to get as low as it will ever get around here and the government and my grandparents are all offering us help. but on the other hand the properties here are still too high. even if we did get a house at a "good price" for around here, our monthly payments would increase by $500+. that is so scary. i feel lost in knowing whether we should pursue this or not.

i get such mixed messages. everyone says "this is the time to buy!" but then my dad says to me tonight that we probably shouldn't buy. so i don't know what to do.

i feel like i've just wasted a lot of everybody's time. my poor realtor who has spent hours showing me places for the last few weeks. poor j., who i've dragged around to showings. poor ella, who has also had to schlep around the north shore with me. and poor me for wasting so much energy, time, and dreams on this.

on a more positive note, easter is this weekend. i blew out 7 eggs yesterday (and made a quiche). there was a learning curve, i'll tell you. the first egg has a huge hole in the bottom, and the next 2 are cracked up the side. but the last 4 look actually beautiful. j. and i are going to have a lot of fun coloring them with ella, and i look forward to writing "EMB 18 months" in pencil on the bottom and storing them away as a memento of this time in her life, like my mom did with me. sunday afternoon we're going to have j. and h. and momby over for an easter egg hunt and light dinner. how fun that we get to experience this children's tradition all over again now that we're parents. oh, and elenora's easter basket is just about the coolest thing ever: 1 watering can shaped like a yellow duck, 1 paint brush, 1 water-color set, 1 little porcelain doll, 1 wind-up butterfly, 1 Dove chocolate bunny with fairy wings, 1 trowel and rake set, and 1 small copy of "Chicken Soup With Rice."

i picked up two bunches of cut daffodils at the grocer today and elenora was so sweet with them. it's nice that i can just leave them on the coffee table in her reach and know that she will not pull them apart or knock them over.

she and i planted 3 plants on monday that are sitting on our window sill, and i'm looking forward to watching them grow with her.

oh, and i ordered the Kettler Go Green tricycle i've had my eye on, and it should arrive any day. i loved my tricycle growing up and am so excited to give this to her. it was such an ethical dilemma figuring out whether to order the 95% recycled Go Green trike from Amazon or to pick up a (much more expensive) non-recycled-materials Kettler tricycle downtown at my favorite toystore. i still don't know which choice would be more environmentally friendly. but maybe it all evens out?