but what about sasha?

at a certain point in life, you start to believe that some things will always remain the same. for example, that your parents will stay in the same home that they have lived in for over twenty years for the rest of their lives.

so my parents are both having mid-life crises.

here is my take on it:

having just turned fifty-five (and having experienced troubles at work at roughly the same time) my father went through a sort of existential "what is it all about?" phase. since he had attended a missions conference just weeks before, he then decided that god must be calling him to the mission field. which means moving to a carolina, or africa.

my mother, having experienced her first six months as a retiree, has decided that making life a little more interesting than the constant Curves/bible study/errands life she now lives would be completely lovely.

i, for one, think the whole thing is nasty. they are now "praying for god's guidance." i am praying for god to slam the door. are parents allowed to do that? can they just up and move ten hours away? leave a salary job for a job that requires raising your own support from churches? what about my babies? when will they see their grandparents? what about my inheritance? when will i have the money to fly to a carolina? and where will i stay when i want to see the mountains and A. and N. and L. and C.?

and what about sasha? how can we abandon my childhood dog???

okay, so i know sasha is dead. but having lived in that home for sixteen years with her i always still feel like she's just somewhere in the house. i sometimes still block the doorway when i let people in because i don't want her to run out like she used to. she will never live in another house. how can we leave her there?

and part of me feels so unsure of my own future. who knows where J. and i will settle. we could go anywhere. my heart strings lead to vermont, and specifically, to Brookwood. how can my parents uproot the most stable part of my past?

of course, i can't make choices for them. and maybe god really does want them to leave... want me to be separated even further from family... want me to realize that "home" is where i am, not where i'm from.