walking
there are some things no one told me about birthing. one is that i would be walking at a 90 degree angle for a couple of days afterwards.
last night while ella was sleeping on j. in the glider chair i went outside to stroll up and down the block by our building. it was one of those cool autumn nights at sunset where it is just warm enough to wear a tank top and feel really comfortable. the sky looked amazing with large fluffy clouds that were shining pink and orange.
i realized as i was walking that this was the first time i'd been by myself outside since before i was pregnant.
ella and i just got back from our first walk outside together since her birth. i tried to put her in the sling, but i couldn't figure out how to get her in it comfortably and the trying woke her up, so i just wrapped her in two blankets and put a hat on her precious head and we stepped outside. i've been so excited and also nervous about going out for a walk with elenora since i'm still figuring out the nursing thing and i'm scared i'll get a block away and she'll want to feed and i'll have to rush back home with a crying l'ella. but tonight i made sure she was well fed and fast asleep and we went out into the wide world. we saw a blue jay and a squirrel and the sun was at an angle to the earth and the breeze was blowing with a scent of dried leaves and wood smoke.
incredible.
i think these little steps outside will just help me to feel more and more capable and independent and confident.
j. went to play basketball for an hour with his friends. he's taken so many photos of ella on his camera and he is so eager to show them off. he even shows them off to me (!) as if i'm not right here seeing the same beautiful sight that he sees. he called me when he was just ten minutes from home to say he misses us and to ask how we are doing.
he said today that he goes back and forth trying to figure out who he loves more. he's been such a blessing and so selfless--just waiting on us with all of our needs.
tonight j. is going to a friend's house to watch a boxing match. i think that he's slowly trying to prepare me for when he has to go back to work and it's just me and l'ella.
j. will pick elenora up out of her crib to sleep on his lap in the glider chair and stare at her for several hours at a time.
last night while ella was sleeping on j. in the glider chair i went outside to stroll up and down the block by our building. it was one of those cool autumn nights at sunset where it is just warm enough to wear a tank top and feel really comfortable. the sky looked amazing with large fluffy clouds that were shining pink and orange.
i realized as i was walking that this was the first time i'd been by myself outside since before i was pregnant.
ella and i just got back from our first walk outside together since her birth. i tried to put her in the sling, but i couldn't figure out how to get her in it comfortably and the trying woke her up, so i just wrapped her in two blankets and put a hat on her precious head and we stepped outside. i've been so excited and also nervous about going out for a walk with elenora since i'm still figuring out the nursing thing and i'm scared i'll get a block away and she'll want to feed and i'll have to rush back home with a crying l'ella. but tonight i made sure she was well fed and fast asleep and we went out into the wide world. we saw a blue jay and a squirrel and the sun was at an angle to the earth and the breeze was blowing with a scent of dried leaves and wood smoke.
incredible.
i think these little steps outside will just help me to feel more and more capable and independent and confident.
j. went to play basketball for an hour with his friends. he's taken so many photos of ella on his camera and he is so eager to show them off. he even shows them off to me (!) as if i'm not right here seeing the same beautiful sight that he sees. he called me when he was just ten minutes from home to say he misses us and to ask how we are doing.
he said today that he goes back and forth trying to figure out who he loves more. he's been such a blessing and so selfless--just waiting on us with all of our needs.
tonight j. is going to a friend's house to watch a boxing match. i think that he's slowly trying to prepare me for when he has to go back to work and it's just me and l'ella.
j. will pick elenora up out of her crib to sleep on his lap in the glider chair and stare at her for several hours at a time.
this afternoon ella had a good hour at least of alert time sitting with me looking around her room and outside of her window. she has deep dark blue eyes and really listens when you talk to her and tell her about everything she's looking at. i can tell she's incredibly smart. j. plays the violin for her, which she enjoys. when she's nursing she sucks more when he plays the violin. when she was in my womb i would put the earphones over my belly and play Tchaikovsky for her. last night j. played it for her and i swear she got really excited by hearing that same piece that she knows.
i love her.
posted by bel @ 5:38 PM
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