on a positive note

i took ella to the doctor today to establish that there is no medical reason why she's crying and to get a consultation about her sleeping. of course, this doctor never did the cry it out method ("i could never do that...and my wife stays home full-time.") so he didn't really help much. but he did say that whatever method i choose i need to be consistent.

the good news, however, is that she weighs 10 pounds 5 ounces. so she's gained three pounds since birth!

i'm even more confused about what i'm doing now, though. j. has expressed that maybe she's too little to do this and we should wait a bit and just try to do more of the holding and soothing methods for now. but c. has been so encouraging that this really will work if we stick with it. i wish i knew. like, i wish i could see into the future.

so right now ella is in her crib crying again. she was really tired, so i rocked her and sang to her and i did it extra long to make sure she was sleeping when i put her in her crib. i thought maybe she'd just keep sleeping. she slept for about four minutes and then woke herself to let me know how indignant she is that i put her in her crib.

how long will this crying last this time? how long will i last this time. my poor baby.

where's the wine?