putting her to sleep with love.

elenora is my darling baby girl.

i talked with c. last night and received such encouragement about how to help ella to sleep.

this morning's naptime came, two hours after we awoke, and i brought ella to her room. we sat in the glider and i nursed her and sang "hush little baby, don't say a word...mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird" over and over. when ella was done nursing i gave her a burping and set her in her crib.

then i walked out of the room and closed the door.

she cried off and on for an hour and ten minutes, during which i went to her every ten minutes and put my hand on her hands and told her i love her and it's naptime. her cry was an angry cry, and i realized she was just saying "i am tired and i want to be picked up" and what i was telling her was "i know you're tired and i love you and this is the best place for you to sleep."

she fell asleep for two hours, and slept deeply and well. when she awoke she was all smiles and she still loves me and i gave her kisses and praise.

this afternoon i repeated the process: glider, rocking, nursing, "hush little baby," burping and into her crib. she cried for two minutes, then was silent. then she cried for six minutes, then was silent. then cried for another two minutes, then was silent.

it's been less than a half hour, and she's been more silent than crying. her crying isn't as harsh and angry as it had been. and i'm glad that even if she hasn't fallen asleep yet she is learning that it is okay to be in her crib looking around quietly.

c. was right. this will just get easier, and she will be much happier for it.

we used to put her to sleep out of anger--angrily jumping and bobbing and dancing and rocking and spending the entire evening trying to bounce her into sleep. it just wore us all out and made us mad. this feels much better. i'm putting her to sleep with loving words--with rocking and singing and nursing and kindness. it makes my heart glad, and it frees up my time a little to get some stuff done. and it recharges me for when she wakes up and i can run to her and kiss her beautiful face and play with her.

so, now i'm going to the gym.