let downs and miracles

i'll start with a miracle. elenora is an amazing sleeper. she almost always goes down for naps and bedtime without crying a bit. in fact, she loves her crib and if i take too long getting her into it she starts to protest until i put her in. even if she's not quite ready to sleep, she'll just play around a little while and then silently fall off to sleep. she naps for 1-2 hours at a time, regularly, and sleeps 12 hours a night.

i never thought it would be this easy with her back when we were struggling so much during the first few months of her life.

i'm having a difficult time pumping milk for her. it's never been terribly easy, but now it seems like i can't get a let down of milk for anything. i wash the pump every afternoon and then i spend about 30-40 minutes late at night trying to pump out a few ounces for ella to have as a snack or with her cereal while i'm at work. without a let down, i can only pump about an ounce. or less. it's discouraging to spend that much time trying to get milk and then to come away with something that is barely worth saving.

and then i have to wash the pump again. it doesn't feel worth it.

saturday k. and i took elenora to russell orchard and it was just perfect. the last time i went there it was autumn and the place was overcrowded with people looking for pumpkins and apples. but this time it was just quiet and we could stroll and look at the ducks and hens (which run loose around the yards and ponds and which would allow us to stand within a few feet of them). we saw the 1000 lb pig, but Big Boy was sleeping instead of moving so ella couldn't really get the full effect. we did see four sheep and goats and three ponies and some bunnies, though, and they were really very interesting and i could tell how much elenora enjoyed it. k. was loving holding elenora...i forget what it's like to not have "baby time."

we played in the barn/shop for awhile in an area designed for children to crawl around and play. they had some tonka trucks for the kids to play with, and i think ella rather enjoyed getting to play with the "boy" toys. i should get her a truck. i had an older brother, so i just naturally always had boy toys around when i was growing up.

after putting ella down for a nap, k. and i went to GC to the Give and Take to try our luck. i started in the kids' section and found a few things for elenora, but the best news of all is that i found two beautiful pairs of jeans for myself that are practically brand new and that fit better than i could have hoped for if i'd tried on a million pairs at a department store in the mall. and they were free. i also found about five or six super cute shirts and a light-weight jacket and some sandals and a skirt and a sundress. and a pair of dress pants and a pair of dark brown corduroys from H&M. all free. i could have cried; i just felt so blessed. we can't afford these things right now. all my jeans have been kept together with iron-on patches for the past month. and my corduroys are barely wearable, as the backside is getting shear. it was a miracle.

it's been incredibly hot here for days. yesterday j. and i took elenora to a friends' house and we all walked to the ocean and spent an hour at the beach. ella was so cute in her summer outfit. i tried putting her feet in the ocean, but she much preferred being held in my arms and made it clear she wasn't quite comfortable with the vast Bigness of the ocean yet.

i'm a couple hundred pages into a new book. "the deptford trilogy" by robertson davies, recommended by the man at the little bookstore in manchester-by-the-sea. i love it. i'm devouring it. i have no idea where the story is going, and i like it that way. every page is a delightful surprise.

elenora's new favorite book is "hand, hand, fingers, thumb."