a little patience.

elenora's new thing is getting herself really tired and staying awake for five hours at a time. at these times she switches between quietly laying in our arms sucking her binky, looking like she's falling asleep, and crying like mad if we try to put her in her crib when we think she's finally dozed off. i'm not sure what that's all about. last night i had to sleep with her in my arms all night because every time we put her down next to us she would start crying in protest. until last night she absolutely was fine sleeping next to us in her lambie, but now she seems to need to be held when she sleeps.

although, she did sleep in her crib today for her naps.

baffling.

today i pulled on some pants and a sweater (no makeup, teeth unbrushed, no shower, no breakfast, no coffee), put ella in the snuggly, and went out the door. i had to get out or i think i would have gone insane. she fell asleep pretty quickly and looked so beautiful in the sunlight. her face is so creamy with the prettiest pink cheeks and nose. we walked downtown and as i passed ebscoland i called n. and m. to come down and meet ella. it was so nice to see them.

she woke up to feed after i got home and when i burped i leaned back on the couch with her on my chest and we both fell asleep for an hour. when i woke up i just stared at her for about half an hour. her lovely face was trying out all kinds of expressions, my favorite of which being the smile. it was so peaceful to just sit there studying her face. to me it seemed as if she was having whole conversations with someone in her dreams, and it struck me that she was probably having the conversations with me or j. and that made me really happy because she was smiling so much.

i think god is teaching me patience. he's teaching me to slow down and observe and love.

we went for another walk this afternoon with a.s., and elenora slept the entire walk again. i think she really likes the long walks and the fresh air. i know i do.