the most wonderful time of the year

we got our christmas tree on saturday. it's about a foot taller than the one we had last year. j. picked it out and it's so beautiful. dad B. gave us some large colored lights to hang, and i'm finding they're such a lovely change from the white ones.

i thought i was pregnant for about a week. j. and i were so excited. he said that he was thinking about me being pregnant as he drove in the car and it made him smile. he said he now has peace about this being the right time.

but we're not pregnant yet. i guess i was just adjusting to coming off birth control.

it makes me wonder if i will know when i am pregnant. i mean, will i know right away? my mother says she knew right away both times. maybe i'm more of a skeptic when it comes to trusting my feelings to tell me what is physically, factually true.

but i'm excited to see if i know. will i feel another spirit inside me? will i sense the presence of another Being? it's so terrifyingly wonderful. i've been praying so much this past week. i keep asking god to help me be a good mother. every time i sneezed i thought i was breaking the baby. when i slouched in my chair at work i thought i might be squishing the baby. it's so frightening to think of carrying such a small, precious thing inside of yourself.

i've been eating all organic vegetables and avoiding things like smoked meats and processed foods. i take my prenatal vitamins every morning and drink my organic milk. here is a list of fruits and vegetables that have the most and the least amount of pesticide levels:



using a website to calculate, here is my ovulation tracker for this month:

MONTH 1:
12/11/06 - First day of your cycle
12/22/06 - A little bit fertile
12/23/06 - Fertile
12/24/06 - VERY fertile
12/25/06 - Time to ovulate
1/04/07 - A home pregnancy test may work now.
1/08/07 - End of cycle
1/11/07 - No period? Maybe you're pregnant!
9/17/07 - If you are, this is your approximate due date.