what do you look like when...

today i played a game with elenora where i asked her "What do you look like when you are mad?" or "What do you look like when you're sad?" etc. it was so adorable to watch her associate her feelings with the look on her face. she really did an excellent job. her mad face was all crinkled-nose and teeth barred. her sad face was a pouty whine. her happy face (my favorite) was a big smile with both arms in the air accompanied by a small jump. "What do you look like when you're sleeping?" caused her to lay her head down on the carpet.

ella slept over at momby's again last night. j. and i needed a babysitter and we were having dinner over there anyhow to watch j. and h.'s wedding video, so we put ella down to sleep there and momby brought her back this morning.

j. and i went to the hutsons' for the evening to watch the oscars (an annual tradition). we were out so late and i had to get up so early this morning. i should be napping now, but elenora seems to be riled up from her night away and she's bouncing around her crib instead of sleeping. it's hard for me to relax until she's asleep.

today at lunch j. asked elenora what color pop-pop's chair is. she immediately said "purple," which is correct. think of the thought process that goes into coming up with that answer. jeez.

i'm reading a book by a co-worker now. he wrote it in the 1990s and received good reviews from everyone except the New York Times. he says he never recovered from the Times review and hasn't written an original novel since. if you google Robert Tine, all kinds of books pop up. he's made a career over the years of getting contracts from the motion picture industry to write novels based on screenplays in order to promote the films. but this one book is an original novel of his. i really am enjoying it. i think my dad would like it too. it starts out with an authentic italian painting worth a lot of money that is found in the possession of a manhattan cleaning woman. it was her fathers' painting, but nobody knows how he got it. they need to ascertain whether he obtained it legally in order to auction it off. so then there's a flashback to 1944 in italy, where her father was stationed as a soldier. the story is going to be about him and how he gets the picture. it's really very well written, and it's so cool that the guy who wrote it sits about twenty feet from my office.

elenora has been very cuddly before naps and bedtime. the other night she lay with her head on my shoulder as i sang songs, and i just kept singing one after another because there has never been anything more wonderful than having her so close and loving.

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hyacinth

elenora and i have been having playdates all week.

monday afternoon we met up with s. and aurora downtown along the river. ella stood on top of the bridge running from one side to the other yelling "river!" and then looking at the other side of the bridge and pointing and saying "another!" we met a woman who was walking with her boy, gabriel, and her baby, sabbath, and their three-legged dog. i've seen this woman out around town for years--since gabriel was the one strapped into the sling she carries--and always thought she looked like someone who i would be friends with. it was so lovely to meet her finally and to find out how easy it was to talk with her. i hope i see her more. i just feel a kindredness with her somehow. ella loved watching the boy, who was very good at entertaining. she ended up getting muddier than she's ever been in her life, but it was a great time.

tuesday we had e. and penelope over for an afternoon playdate. it was so nice to see e. and i had so much to tell her about what is happening at work since she's left. i had my most stressful day in months on tuesday and came home in tears, so i really needed e.'s companionship since she understands more than anyone what is going on. she brought me a hyacinth. she said "this is to remind you that good things will blossom soon."

which has saved the rest of the week for me. wednesday i just kept thinking of my hyacinth and it really gave me the strength to have a much less stressful day.

we had j.l.-m. over yesterday afternoon. it's been a long time since i've seen her, so it was great to catch up.

today i got to work right at 7 am so that i could come home and take elenora to gordon to see a., an english professor of mine from the college days. a. and i always have good visits. i like to discuss literature with her, and she really enjoyed seeing elenora. since we were on campus, we gave momby a ring and met up for a walk and some lunch. ella just loves seeing her mam-aw.

tomorrow afternoon i have plans for dinner and drinks with h., and sunday evening j. and i will leave ella for an overnight at momby's while we go to the hutsons' for our annual oscar viewing party. we really should see another film before then...maybe slumdog or something.

it snowed an inch last night, which was washed away with rain this morning. we're on the brink; two steps towards spring and one step back.

i was counting with elenora (usually i go to about 4) yesterday and discovered that she knows pretty much every number to 10.

today my hyacinth is starting to bloom.

opinions

elenora is voicing her thoughts with emphasis. frequent thoughts include stating "all done!" and answering "'kay" when asked if she wants to do something.


me: "want to read a book?"


ella: "'kay."

on friday i prepared ella all day for her sleepover at "mam-aws"...to the point that after her afternoon snack she was standing by the door saying "mam-aw! mam-aw! mam-aw!" it put my mind at ease to know that i didn't have to feel like she thought we were abandoning her for the night.


j. and i had a lovely valentine's dinner. a full bottle of riesling, this gorgeous cauliflower soup with poached mussels, lobster risotto, steak and duck...and banana cake with cream cheese frosting and sauteed bananas...mmm.


yesterday morning elenora and i got out to play. the snow that had accumulated has now dwindled to the edges of the driveway and a few patches in the shade. it is so nice to see the flattened, frozen grass and to know that it will soon be green and thick. it's still very cold up here, but at least we can go outside and run around and push the tyke trike. the sunshine feels amazing.


j. had a concert yesterday afternoon, and he really was hopeful that ella and i would come. it was in a town about 45 minutes away, so it took some effort, but elenora and i walked into the upper balcony about halfway through. she didn't really want to sit and watch after sitting in her car seat for so long, but there was a good amount of room up there where we could walk around and sit on the floor looking at books and listening to the music without bugging anyone. she was so good. though randomly she would suddenly start loudly saying "bubba! bubba! bubba!" (meaning, i want/have my bunny lovey) or she would say "ella! ella! ella!" after putting a necklace around her neck. j. said he could hear her. oh well. her favorite toy was the door to the auditorium, which she was enjoying opening and walking through, in and out, in and out. again, it was the type of situation that didn't really bother other people, so it worked out okay. i know j. was so pleased to see us.
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the concert ended at 5:30 pm, which is right around ella's tubby time. but we decided to go out to eat dinner as a family at ihop. i got ministrone soup for ella, which she dragged bubba through a few times. but she was very good and so cute. we don't really ever eat as a family since she eats at 5 most nights. so it was very special. she was an angel all the way home even though i didn't get her into bed before 8 pm... 1 and a half hours after she usually goes to bed!


today at work i started training e.'s replacement. i think she will be great, though it's taking a lot of time to coordinate with the other team leaders in order to get all the work completed. not everyone is as conscientious about getting the work done as elizabeth and i are, so it is really requiring a lot of me to stay on top of things. once j. is trained i think things will be fine again.

Happy Valentine's Day!

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the day before

i think j. and i were forced into celebrating valentine's day the night before the actual day years ago because of a violin rehearsal. it worked out great, though, since nobody else books reservations for nice dinners for that evening. it is now tradition for us to go out the night before to celebrate our valentine's day.

when e. wakes up from her nap i'll take her to her grandma's to spend the night. j. and i are going to a restaurant called duckworth's that has amazing food. they offer half portions and half bottles of wine because they really want you to taste a variety of dishes. we've been there maybe twice before, but the last time we were there i was pregnant, so it's been awhile.

this week has been more mild outside, and ella and i have been getting out once or twice a day to run around the driveway. she likes looking for the moon and her shadow and she loves it when i swoop her up in my arms and swing her around. it's such fun. i really can feel spring coming. it is my favorite season of all. as john updike says: "all things renew, all things begin."

j. came home this afternoon with red roses and dark chocolates for me and a lovely heart-shaped balloon for elenora. she loves balloons and is just going to go crazy over it when she wakes up.

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i've found the earlier schedule to really work out well this week. i've gone to bed by 11 pm every night and gotten to work between 7:10 and 7:20 am. i'm home in time to feed ella lunch and then play with her for awhile before putting her down for a nap, and she's slept well almost every afternoon.

something fun that elenora has been doing is "fill-in-the-blank." you can read her a story like "goodnight moon" and leave off the final word of every line and she will say the word you leave off. or you can sing something like the alphabet song and she will say the letters you stop before.

she says "please" now. last night she drained her cup of milk and she said "more?" and i didn't respond right away and after thinking a moment she perked up and did the sign for more and said "please?" irresistable.

today she had a cracker in her hand and i asked her if i could have a bite and she patted her chest and said "keep."

she says the phrase "all done" when she's done with something. is that a sentence?

here are some photos with elenora in a sweater from my uncle d. and aunt m.:

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does anyone else see the resemblance to momby in this next one???

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tubby time

okay, so i've been remiss in posting the all-embarrassing bathtime photos. here she is, post-tubby:


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spilt milk and other frustrations (from a note to c.)

Today was E.'s last day at work. It was strangely normal sitting across from her doing work in our office. But when I put on my coat to go home I had to hug her goodbye. We exchanged the usual "we'll see each other often" and all that, but when I walked out of my office I just started crying.

I've been so stressed out lately, and it's been hard for me to find my bearings. My schedule has seemed so out of whack, and planning for the transition to working with someone else has really been taking a toll on me, too.

But I think it wasn't until today that I realized just how much I'm going to miss E., herself, aside from how that impacts my work situation.

I got up early yesterday morning and was at work by 7:25 am. But I didn't get to see Elenora before I left for the day, and I missed her all morning. I did get to see her for over an hour of play time before her afternoon, nap, though. This morning I went in around 7:00 am and got her up and held her and dressed her and then put her back in her crib with some books until J. would be ready to get up and get her out for the morning. I felt bad putting her back in her crib, but it was the only way I could spend any time with her this morning. She seemed to be okay with it, though.

I had a great time playing with her when I got home from work...we even got out to the natural food store downtown to buy milk and a tomato. So it felt like we had a substantial time together before her nap.

This weekend I went to Rockport to walk. My friend S. (mother of aurora) went with me. I really appreciate her honesty as a person, and I can really relate with her as a mother and wife. So we had a good time. I got Ella a spinning top and some books (jamberry) and a folk music cd with, randomly, a song on it by a folk musician who came to my kindergarten class when I was 6 years old and sang it to us. Also, I ran into a shop owner who knew a man who was my sunday school teacher when I was a kid--a man who died of cancer when I was a teenager, but who had a profound impact on my life.

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Spring is coming. Today the air is kind of damply chilled, although not freezing. I am so looking forward to the warm weather. When I'm stressed, if I can get outside I am able to unwind. If I am stuck inside I tend to implode. For instance, this past week I was so stressed out that I kept spilling things. I spilled Ella's milk and her yogurt and dropped other things. It was very frustrating for me, because I am generally a pretty orderly, non-clumsy person. I like things to go right, and it really stressed me out when milk ended up on the floor several days in a row. I get mad at myself. Like, why can't I do this right?

I think there's just too much on my mind.

and counting...

this morning while i was getting elenora's breakfast together she grabbed an applesauce out of the cupboard and then she said "another" and got another one out and toddled over to me saying "two...two...two." simple math...at 16 months!

she's saying more words that have to do with describing what it is she's doing, or wanting to do. she'll say "pull" or "step" or "keep" or "hold." she'll actually say "more" instead of just signing for it.

yesterday i invited m. and nathan over and then s. called to see if ella and i wanted to spend time with her and aurora, so i had two babies and two other mothers over all afternoon. it was very fun to see these babies interacting with each other (two of them are toddlers now, actually). they all got along so well, and it was good for me to see m. and s. sometimes j. suggests that i rarely get out and do stuff with friends, but what he doesn't realize is how much socializing i do in the mid-afternoons.

today at work i got an email from j. saying that he was feeding ella lunch and then she would go down for her nap. i knew i wouldn't make it home in time to see her first, and i just got so sad. i think i'm realizing that in order to not lose an hour of play with her every day i'm going to have to get up at 6:25 am and get to work by 7 am so that i can come home by 11 and have that time before her nap. going to bed early enough to make that a possibility just seems like an impossible sacrifice (c., you know what i mean). but i have to do this in order to have that precious time with ella. this will be a huge adjustment.

there's just too much change right now, with e. leaving work and elenora's nap changes. i don't really like change...

changes

yesterday was so lovely outside. 40 degrees feels wonderful. elenora and i spent a good hour tromping around the snow-lined driveway and parking lot.

today it is snowing again, and cold.

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they posted e.'s job at work today, finally. hopefully they will fill her position quickly.

we're really starting to switch over to one nap a day. it's hard for me on the week days, because when she takes two naps i get to see her for three different segments of the day: when i get her up and dress her in the morning, when i come home from work and play with her before her nap, and after her nap until bedtime. i've loved having so much time with her. with the new schedule, i have to get out earlier to work in order to see her at all before her one nap...so that means less time with her in the mornings. then i only get about 15 minutes if i'm lucky after i get home from work and before her nap. only my late afternoon playtime is uninterrupted.

i miss her already!

this morning i got up and took my shower and got dressed and put my makeup on before getting her up. usually i get her up first thing and have to split my attentions between her and getting ready (j. helps, but he's hard to drag out of bed, and i usually end up helping him at least a little bit). while this morning worked great for getting me out the door 20-35 minutes earlier than usual, i did miss out on some of that time together. however, j. decided to give her a morning nap today, so when i got home i had a lot of fun playing with her. but now she's in her crib playing...which is typical on days when she takes a morning nap. she rarely sleeps anymore during her afternoon nap-time if she takes even a short nap in the morning...which is why we're switching to one nap. (when we give her just the one nap, she sleeps for about 2-3 hours straight.)

but i miss that middle of the day playtime.

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on the weekends the one nap is perfect...allowing us to sleep in until 8 am and then giving us time for an outing before noon. saturday brunch is becoming a tradition.

elenora almost kind of said a sentence yesterday. after i got her up from her nap, she dropped her "magic baton" on the ground and i said "say, 'i dropped it'" and she started saying "dropped." and then later, after her tubby, she dropped her toy horse and i said "say, 'i dropped it'" and i swear she said what very nearly sounded like "i dropped it!" and she was so pleased about it, too.
on saturday i got a canvas storage container to hold some toys in the living room. i've placed all the stuffed animals in it. but it's becoming a favorite toy of her's. she likes to dump out all of the animals and then climb into the box and have me hand them to her. she arranges her friends around her in the box (or throws them out of it, alternately). she gets so excited about getting in the "box! box! box!"

she's learned her colors down to black, brown and grey. she really loves naming colors on everything...her food, her books, her toys, her clothes...

just the last two days she is more interested in trying to climb up on the chair in our living room. it makes me nervous, but i'm also glad she's doing that now, since it's one of the things the books say they should be doing.

we're reading books with a lot of words lately. she seems to be really interested in books like "Little Bear" and "Blueberries for Sal" and "Frog and Toad Are Friends." These books all have more words than pictures, so it doesn't seem typical. there are a lot of books that i read her that say they are for "children ages 4-8."

(this whole blog is turning into an epic brag session, and i do apologize to all the readers who just want to roll your eyes... i'm sure everyone's kid does everything elenora does. i just get amazed by it all myself, since just over a year ago she was this little helpless infant who i was just hoping would turn out okay.)