newatmarriage

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

a bump in the road.

today e. gave her notice at work. her mother-in-law had been watching penelope while she was at work, but has just decided she will no longer do so. it's so sudden, and i'm just reeling with thinking about what will happen. i honestly can't think of how i will do this job without her. we are two sides of the same coin. our working chemistry is amazing. we think alike and we both know this job inside and out. it's such a complicated position, and we both have worked seamlessly together. every week we split the work in half and are able to pull it together into a completed whole. it will take awhile to find a replacement, and i will somehow have to accomplish the work of two people during that time. and then when they find someone i will have to train them and check all of their work for months to make sure that we are doing things the same way. i don't know how i will have the time to train someone while making sure everything gets done.

ella and i had penelope over this afternoon for a little over an hour so that e. could finish up at work. the girls are at such a fun age now. they played great together, and i had a lot of fun with the two of them.

i know e. and i will continue our friendship and continue to have regular play dates for the girls. but it's so sad for me to think of work without e. there.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

dinner at mam-aws

elenora is currently walking up to me with an X saying "ex! ex! ex!" ...and now she has an O and is saying "o." i just asked her "where is a yellow Z?" and she pointed right to the Z on the floor. now she is carrying a toy flower pot and saying "F, F, F" and sure enough there is an F in there.

all during breakfast she was having me make letters out of cheerios.

she points out colors on everything. she flips to the front of a book and points to the opening page that precedes the title page and says "blue" or "orange" or "yellow" accordingly.



she picks up her silver necklace and says "silver" and then picks up her gold necklace and says "gold."




i bought her a collection of three yellow toy flower pots that came with a plastic trowel (the coolest toy ever...it's made from recycled materials in the US and comes with organic seeds and dirt in order to grow things!) and we've sorted the alphabet into yellow, green and red letters in each of the pots. she's enjoying looking through them and naming the letters as she pulls them out.


this age is so fun!



we went to momby's for dinner with the family last night (j. and h. were there, too). we had dinner earlier than usual so that elenora could join in instead of eating before everyone and then going to bed. she really was great at the table. she heard the coo-coo clock at one point and said "coo-coo" and then everyone laughed so she got this glint in her eye and said "coo-coo" again and then we all laughed again and then she started laughing over her own joke. ella is much more at home there now since she spent the night.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

muh-muh

here's elenora with one of her most favorite things, a muffin:
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memory

elenora's memory is amazing to see. here are some cases:

after her bath one night i said "what is mommy's name?" and she said "B" (which is what j. calls me) and then without missing a beat she pointed to j. and said "joel." these are not names we've really drilled her on. she just seems to know.

her grandma took her out in the snow last week. a couple days later i was walking with elenora down the driveway and pointed to an indent in the snow and i said "ella, what happened here?" and she said "mam-aw." turns out momby was jumping into the snow with elenora.

a week ago while we were playing in ella's room we pulled out a big white bunny from my mom and i asked j. to name it. he named it "taffy." we said the name maybe three times that day. a few days later we opened up a new book from the library and, as i was reading, it turned out the cat's name was taffy. in my head i was thinking "now, is that what we named that bunny?" and all of a sudden ella sat up and pointed to the bunny and said "taffy"! she'd remembered even better than i had.

in the middle of her snack a couple afternoons ago i was saying words that began with M. "milk, mommy, muffin, monkey, mary..." and then i said "who is mary's baby?" and she said "Jesus." we hadn't read that book that day or talked about mary and jesus at all that day... she just remembered--completely out of context.

and that's the thing. she just seems to know things. she just seems to pick stuff up and remember it and pull information out when it is completely out of context. she is always right and consistent.

just brilliant.

Friday, January 23, 2009

colors

elenora is learning her colors. she's really good at accurately naming most of them: pink, blue, yellow, red, green, orange, and purple.

we've been really trying to get out more lately. last week we went to m.'s house to visit baby nathan ("nay-nay") and then on another afternoon we went to e.'s house to play with penelope. this week we went to j. and h.'s place on monday, k. came over on wednesday specifically to play with ella, and yesterday we went to frannie's for a play date. it's been so fun watching elenora interact with other children in their various homes. she always finds new things to be interested in. baby nathan had lots of toys (some that were hand-me-downs from ella that she recognized), and penelope had a large stuffed animal lamb that elenora kept snuggling ("mammie! mammie!"). j. and h. had seashells to play with and a basketball and net, and frannie has a cat ("hoo-hoo" for huey) and she danced elenora around her apartment.

i can't keep up with all of elenora's new words. she pretty much just says everything!

her new favorite books include corduroy ("co-co"), "ten little fingers and ten little toes" ("babies!"), curious george, how groundhog's garden grew, king bidgood's in the bathtub, a child's calendar by john updike (gorgeous poems!), jan brett books, and more. she continues to point out letters and say their names (lately Q has been added to the list).
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naptimes are strange. most of the time she doesn't really sleep during her morning nap time, but some of the times she does. i think we just need to switch to one nap a day, but i don't know if we (j. and i) are ready for that, since we get stuff done while she takes those two naps. this adjustment will have to happen soon, though.

ella is a bit more picky about her meals lately. she still loves steamed veggies and yogurt and muffins and fruit and other healthy foods. but actual meals are sometimes rejected with a turn of the head and a fussy face. she's not a fan of "new-nuls" (noodles), and even my grammy's mac and cheese recipe got rejected! it's tough to know what to do about that at this age. i don't want her to not eat, and i don't want her to be a picky eater, but neither do i want to have fights over food or make food an issue or force her to eat things that she genuinely doesn't want. she is a good eater in general and does eat enough, so i don't worry about her nutrition. i try tricks like saying "do you want to try this on your tongue?" and then she sometimes likes to see what that is like. and sometimes i will stick a piece of something she's rejecting behind a piece of something she likes on a fork and sneak it into her mouth. when she all-out rejects something i'm just sort of balancing the pole of trying to push her gently into eating more, and also just knowing when to say "okay, you're all done." (i refuse to go grab other things...treats, crackers, etc...to take the place of the thing i'm trying to push.)

any advice from other moms?
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j. and i are doing well. j.'s work is fantastic. he's still home a good deal of the time but also teaches violin at two private schools, is in a basketball league, plays with the salem philharmonic orchestra, has a private practice client, and is adjusted to his schedule with his main counseling job. he just started a boys' group with another therapist that keeps him out late on fridays doing things like batting cages and laser quest. i think he's really happy lately, and that feels good.
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i also feel like i'm in a good place. i'm reading a ton and doing pilates and getting to the gym. taking elenora to her friends' houses has also allowed me to spend more time socializing with my friends. today is slightly warm(ish) outside and i spent the morning watching icicles melt and listening to birds chirping. there's that promise of spring coming...

i'm reading doctor zhivago. i'm only a little ways into it, but the writing is lovely and deep and i can tell it is setting me up for a good story.
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things at work are going better, too. i talked with my former supervisor and he took action to open up the communication between the other supervisors and team leaders. i'm hoping things get better.

tonight i'm going to k.'s to meet her new cat, fred, and eat yummy mexican food and socialize with a bunch of random people i've never met.

phew. i knew i needed to catch this blog up!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

the Office party

here are a couple photos from this year's Office party. we had a great time (as always). who wouldn't, with a raw bar, an open bar, and a beautiful buffet with beef tenderloin, asperagus, etc.? it was held at the peabody essex museum again, with a live band upstairs and a dj and dancing downstairs.

here's a photo of me with k. and k., both of who are team leaders:
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the guy standing behind j. in the next photo is the head of the company. this year he came around and introduced himself to everyone. it was pretty cool. j. got into a conversation with him about hammering nails with frozen bananas... (it was really cold outside...)
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ella spent the night at her gramby's. it was funny coming home to a house without anyone in it. j. walked in our apartment at 2 am and said "I CAN BE LOUD!" and i said "Shhh! we have neighbors!" the sleepover was a success. when i got to momby's house in the morning ella was happily playing with the dogs and entertaining her grandparents.

we might have to do sleepovers more often.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

the Office drama

things are crazy at work right now. not workload-wise...just interpersonally. when i started my job the a&i department had about 11 people with 2 team leaders and 1 supervisor. when i became a team leader we started growing the department to its current 44 abstractors, 6 team leaders, and 3 supervisors. the 3 supervisors thing is recent...since i've been back from maternity leave. my former supervisor is now the manager of the 3 supervisors. now, i loved my old supervisor. he's a fantastic person who is so easy to say anything to. he always trusted the team leaders to do their jobs and to know what they're doing, and he kept everyone in the loop about things. i really felt like i could be honest with him (it helps that he's our age, married with babies, and went to a christian liberal arts college...j. and i have had dinner with his family several times).

so having a new supervisor has been an adjustment. having 3 supervisors has become semi-impossible. they all have such different management approaches. my new supervisor is pretty good. he likes to manage from the bottom up, which i like (i've been in the department for at least 3 more years than him, so i appreciate him treating me like i know what i'm doing). he keeps me in the loop and i feel like i can say things to him if i have a problem.

another of the supervisors micro-manages her team...to the point of calling people into her office if they are 5 minutes late. she also moves workflow around...which is completely a team leaders' job that she really has no business doing.

the last supervisor is the one who i have the most difficulty dealing with. she does not respond to email if i have a question to ask her. i've given up trying to email her. she is also very territorial and likes to keep all important decisions close, without any input from the team leaders or myself or e. i have heard frustration from most of the team leaders about her lack of communication and trust. lately this has directly impacted me in that my supervisor informed me that this other supervisor is working on a process that would change the way e. and i conduct feedback. my first response is: why am i not involved in this? why do i have no say? why have i not heard about this from her? my supervisor told me not to tell her that i know about this huge change that is in the works, but he had e. and i write up a document outlining all the reasons why the change she is proposing is a horrible idea.

it is such an awful position to find myself in. knowing what she is trying to change, and not being able to do anything about it is so frustrating. my new supervisor has forwarded me some emails from this other supervisor regarding the change, and her proposal even states things like "b. and e. will probably argue that...blah, blah..." of course we will argue that! her proposal is ridiculous!

today m. stopped in my office, and i had her shut the door. she is the head team leader, who has been with the company since its inception. i couldn't not tell her what was going on, because i knew she would flip her lid. she trained this other supervisor back when this woman was an abstractor. and now this woman is keeping even m. out of the loop about these huge changes of process. m. wrote the manual for a&i for goodness sake.

i don't like this secrecy. i don't like having to pretend like i don't know. i don't like having 3 supervisors to have to deal with. m. said the team leaders walk around on egg-shells in order to avoid upsetting one or more of the supervisors at any given time.

it's so frustrating for everyone.

friends

this morning during elenora's breakfast, j. asked her "ella, who is one of your friends?" we've never asked her this question before, and he says he hadn't been talking about her friends before asking this question. but she immediately responded "rora" (for Aurora!) and after saying "Aurora" a few more times she actually had three syllables going! also, j. reminded her of Penelope... and she started saying "pee-pee" (i know... not the best nickname... but sweet that she's saying her name, anyhow). it was so fun to hear her talking about her friends.
here she is with frannie:
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yesterday morning while i was changing her diaper she pointed to herself and said "girl" and then pointed to me and said "girl" and i said "ella, who is a boy?" and she said "daddy."

tonight while we were reading her books and she was pointing to things on the page and saying what they are, she started pointing to letters on the page and saying what they are. so i started asking her, "ella, where is a W?" or "ella, where is a P?" and she would look carefully and find each letter. it's so amazing to me that she can recognize these. although i guess they are just like anything else...and she recognizes and names pretty much EVERYTHING else.

she gets this brilliance from her daddy. (she gets her "pretty" from me!)

Monday, January 05, 2009

ailments

ella has PTSD (post-traumatic stress syndrome) from the shots the nurse administered last friday. she put bandaids over ella's little punctures and every time she sees them she starts screaming. it's very sad. i haven't been able to give her a bath the last two nights because she freaks out once her injured thighs are visible. the bandaids are the really sticky kind, too. last night j. finally pulled them off carefully while i held the crying baby. so sad.

however, this morning when i changed her she looked down and didn't see the bandaids, and she remained happy. so maybe we're post-PTSD?

she does, however, have a fever as of last night because of the shots. also, j. was sick all last week, and now i'm getting sick, so perhaps ella has this same cold. my poor family.

on the brighter side of life... j. will ask elenora if she wants him to "tackle her with rough play" and then he says "ready...set..." and she says "GO!" it is super cute.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

15 months


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i can barely keep up with listing all ella's words. she seems to add so many words each day. here are a few more:

zebra
panda
pig
pen
bee
egg
prayer
book
water
Brianna (her cousin...sounds like "ee-nana")
Frannie (a neighbor)
heart
knee
puppy (sounds like "puppa")
coffee
broccoli (sounds like "broc-broc")
barrette (sounds like "barr")
noodle
hat
cheek
nose
tights
dress
toes
bull dog
music (sounds a bit like "mimi" but is understandable in context)
snow-ball
tylenol (yes, we've been sick lately)
eye
macdonald (from the song...not the restaurant!)
lady bug
butterfly (sounds like "burrrr")
gold

she can also now pick out "P" and "W" and say them when she sees them (W sounds like "dubba-dub"). sometimes she'll say "C" when she sees it, but she can at least pick it out of a line-up.
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we had elenora's 15-month checkup yesterday. she's just under 23 lbs. she was really good in the waiting room, but she was very unsure about the nurse and the doctor. partly, i'm sure, because she sees such a consistent and small number of people in her daily life, and is not used to new people coming into the room and wanting to be close to her right away. she was cute while we asked the doctor questions about when to drop a nap, when to get her off of the binkies, when she should be feeding herself with a spoon and fork, etc. she just walked around the room pointing at the zebras on the wallpaper and flipping through The Cat in the Hat. the doctor was impressed that she always held the book the right way. not so impressive when you consider how many books we read each day. she did get two shots. that's the other part of why she's not in favor of the nurses and doctors getting close. she had the flu shot a few weeks ago and didn't flinch a bit. but she definitely didn't like these shots. although she seems to be fine today.

it's freezing outside. i miss the warm weather so much. i miss taking elenora outside several times a day to run around in the yard. i miss russell orchard and the beach. i miss walking around town. i can't believe there are at least two months left of this.