warm, cold, wet, sweet...

today elenora held j.'s iced coffee and said "cold." then she felt the perspiration on the cup and said "wet."

last night she pulled her towel over her head with her feet and arms raised up under it and said "fort." then she pulled it around her body and said "warm."

i just let her dip her finger into a little bit of honey and she tried it and i said "is it sweet?" and she said "sweet!"

when i get her ready for her nap i start by changing her diaper. and usually i'll ask her "what is going to happen next?" and she'll say "nap."

i know these are such little things, but i don't want to forget any of it.

training

this afternoon, elenora looked at the photo on j.'s cellphone, which is of me and ella, and she kissed it. she's so sweet about giving kisses. i asked her if i could have a kiss and she immediately toddled over and gave me a sweet kiss, then turned towards j. saying "dadda! dadda!" and gave him one, too.

today i bought ella a little potty seat to train on. she's been very interested the last few weeks in what goes on with the potty, and any time j. or i go to the bathroom she says "pee-pee?" so i figured i'd at least get a seat that she could practice sitting on. she was pretty excited about it this afternoon, and wanted to sit on it several times to try it out. hopefully we can potty train her quickly by the time she is 2. i'd love to do away with diapers.

-

-

-
tonight while i was feeding ella her dinner, j. was laying on the couch. i asked ella what daddy was doing and she said "nothing," which i couldn't believe she'd said, so i asked her "did you say daddy's doing 'nothing'?" and she said "yeah." then she suddenly thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever said, and she started laughing and repeating "nothing" as i kept asking her "what is daddy doing?" it was really hilarious.

yesterday morning elenora got really interested in a puzzle that has 5 shapes on it: a square, a circle, a star, a triangle, and a hexagon. she's been able for some time now to accurately point to the shapes when you ask her which is which, but yesterday she was actually taking the puzzle apart and putting it back together. she would put a shape over a space, and if it was incorrect she said "nope" and then tried again until she found the right place. she was so pleased about it, too, that she carried the puzzle all over the apartment for about a half hour.

it's been rainy all day today. i tried getting elenora outside this afternoon since she spent the whole morning saying "outside?!" but we got out there and it was cold and drizzly, and we just ended up running back into the house after a few minutes.

the forecast for the next 10 days includes 2 sunny days, 1 mostly cloudy day, and 7 rainy days. ugh.

i need a book on what to expect, the second year. things i need to read up on include: how to get your child to feed themselves; how to potty train; how to wean off a binky; when to switch to a toddler bed. any advice on any of these topics is welcome...

the house thing is going okay. no real leads yet. we've been eliminating various things. we viewed a place on friday that was just too tiny with an odd layout. i went to an open house today and came away with a headache. it seems like you have to have at least $250k around here to get something that isn't either ridiculously small or ridiculously old and falling apart. the places we could possibly afford are all small and/or old. i guess we just keep looking. we're both not dead set on buying. we won't do it if it doesn't make sense. and, honestly, the more we look into the cost of property around here the more attractive our $1000-a-month-including-heat apartment seems.

but we will continue looking. something might pop up that is the perfect thing. and i'm keeping my eye on the price of that townhouse...

18 months

elenora is a year and a half old now! we celebrated by meeting e. and penelope at the park and eating (organic) chocolate cupcakes.

on wednesday we had her 18 month check-up. she is now 26 lbs, 32 and 1/2 inches. the nurse and doctor both commented on how verbal she is. and she wasn't even really showing off all her tricks. the doctor says she's doing "2-year-old stuff" and made a comment about "checking her into harvard." he said that at 18 month checkups he usually asks parents if their kids say 10 words yet.

10. jeez.

elenora understands the concept of "almost." i was changing her diaper yesterday and we were almost done and she said "almost." and i kind of looked at her and said "almost done?" and she said "yeah." i couldn't believe she'd really said that. then at dinner last night her soup was almost all gone and she said "almost done."

during tubby time last night ella was holding susie, a little plastic girl by playschool that i had when i was a kid. susie has a green dress on, but otherwise she looks exactly like another playschool girl we named becca who has a red dress. so i asked her "who looks like susie?" and she said "becca." (i've never asked her that kind of a question before...she just figured out what it meant...isn't that bright?!) and then i asked her "who looks like bill-bob?" (bill-bob is another playschool figure) and she said "george." george looks exactly like bill-bob except that his features are darker.

she now says the word "dorable" for "adorable."

yesterday morning i took ella to appleton farms and we met up with s. and aurora for a walk. we came across a cow in the path who was just munching on grass. ella and i walked towards it and when we were a few feet away it suddenly startled and bolted ten feet away from us. elenora started laughing and laughing. then on our way back, aurora kept taking her hat and throwing it on the ground, and ella thought that was so funny. all day she was talking about how we surprised the cow and how aurora was throwing her hat and how it was funny.

here are some of her relaxed sayings: "nope," "yup," "yeah," "okay."

momby dropped something and said "oops" the other day and ella thought that was hilarious. and sometimes i say "oopsidaisy." so elenora has started saying "oopy" when she drops something. so cute.

she knows "big" from "little." i can ask her "which is the biggest?" or "which is the smallest/littlest?" and she will correctly answer. she also knows her "right" from her "left." i often sing the hokey-pokey while getting her dressed for bed, so i think that is how she knows. but the other night i hadn't sung the song and i randomly asked her "which is your right ear?" and she pointed to her right ear! and then i said "and which ear is your left ear?" and she pointed to the other one. i've never sung "put your right ear in..." so she has figured that out herself.

there are many words that ella now says clear as a bell so that anybody would know what she's saying. these include but are not limited to: "elbow," "coffee," "puppy," "norma," "cup," "milk," "book," "duck," "soup" ...

she knows all shapes. all colors.

ella understands that "back" means the back of something, or it can mean putting something back.

today j. and i are going to look at a few more houses. there are two that i've seen listings for that really have caught my interest. but this really still seems pretty far-fetched. we're gaining a lot of knowledge, though.

first sentence

"i love silky."

ummm

the first smart-alec instance! ella and i met up with s. and aurora on friday afternoon at long hill, and s. was saying something and said "um..." and ella said "ummm..." and then realized that we thought it was funny. so now every time someone says "um" she repeats "ummm" with a glint in her eye.

punky.

j. and i spent saturday morning viewing houses. which was semi-depressing. one of the homes was from 1800 and just about everything would need to be done over. and one of the places had extensive water damage (missing walls, missing floors, missing bathroom fixtures, etc.) and still was asking for $204k. one of the places was nice, but just too small (and asking $269k). and the final place (the townhouse i linked to) was just amazing and perfect...and way too expensive. we're realizing that we need to look for places no higher than very low $200k-ish, if not lower. but it is so hard to find anything for that price around here. i've come across two places in the mid-to-upper $100k range and they both are "affordable state housing" with an income limit that puts us just a few thousand too high. grrr.

but i looked at a place on sunday that was okay. it's not in ipswich; it's in the next town over. but it has good high-way access (which is good for commutes, but bad for asthetics). it's definitely bigger than what we have now, and it has 1.5 baths and 2 bedrooms and a large kitchen and living room. it's a condo, and has high condo fees, but they include heat. they are asking $179k. which is probably the best part about it. it could be a good starter for us, since the only changes that need to be made there are things like carpeting and paint. so if we got it for a good price we could fix it up and resell it when the market goes up again. but we have to be willing to live there until that happens...and i just don't know if it's big enough for us to continue to grow our family over the next few years (i'm still not in any huge rush on this, but have to think ahead). plus, i would really miss the ability to walk downtown here. i love ipswich. everything i love is close by: library, ebscoland, my gym, the river, the shops, my toy store, green grocer, natural food store, crane beach, russell orchard, my CSA, appleton farm... would i really want to live a 12 minute drive away from all that?

well, it's a lot to think about. but we just have to not be in a rush about this. i am glad we're looking now, though, since this is the year the government is giving new homeowners money and the interest rates are dropping and the prices of houses are going down. who knows what can happen?

tomorrow is ella's 1 and 1/2 year birthday! i am going to make some chocolate cupcakes with frosting, which will be quite the treat.

elenora's new favorite book is "bendemolena," which is a book about a kitten who has 9 brothers and sisters, so she puts a pot over her head to block out the noise, but then she can't understand what her mother is asking her to do and all kinds of funny things end up happening. like, her mother asks her to tell her brothers and sisters to "make up a drink" for supper, and bendemolena thinks her mother said to "put a horse in the sink." the pictures are really well done.

i'm reading "my antonia" right now. it's set in nebraska, where momby grew up, which is fun to think about.

it took me 2 hours to fall asleep last night. i had so many thoughts racing through my mind about the condo i looked at. "if we put the couch here, the chair could go there...if we re-painted the kitchen, what color would it be?...if we re-did the carpet in the living room, would we use the same carpet to do the upstairs?" etc.

i need a nap.

outside

wednesday was gorgeous. k. came over after ella's lunch and we took a long stroll around the neighborhood. on our way back to the house i said "are you ready to go home and take a nap, ella?" and she said "no, no, no." and k. said "are you having too much fun outside?" and elenora answered "yeah." k. brought her a little white bunny ("silky") that ella has taken to. she took a nap with silky and didn't even throw her out of the crib! usually if we put anything other than bubba, her blanket, and a binky in there it winds up on the floor. but she kept this bunny.

after ella's nap, we headed out with the stroller and met up with h. and took a really long walk around town. we walked past the townhouse i am in love with, and realized that it is on the other side of a line of trees at the back of a beautiful playground/park. so we took elenora to the park. ella has discovered the slide, and spent most of our time there climbing up and sliding down. every now and then she would say "home." and i would say "do you want to go home?" and she would pat the slide and say "stay. park."

it's felt so wonderful to be outside and walking. yesterday afternoon ella and i played in the yard for an hour, and every time i said "do you want to go inside?" she would say "outside. outside."

the last few nights she's started crying really hard at bedtime for no apparent reason. i keep checking to make sure she's fine and has everybody (binky, bubba), and she really seems to be fine. so last night i had to just tell her she was fine and i wasn't coming back in if she cried again. and then she did cry again and i had to let her work through it. which didn't take more than a few minutes, but it is so sad to hear her crying so hard. i just don't know what is wrong. all i can think is that it is too bright in her room now that the sun goes down so much later.

tonight we're leaving ella with momby for an overnight, and j. and i are going out to dinner somewhere. then tomorrow morning we are meeting with the realtor to go view a few houses. we're thinking that this year might be the year to buy since this is when the government is offering to give us $8000 towards a down payment. if i can borrow $8000 from a grandparent this year and somehow scrounge together the rest that is needed towards a down payment and closing fees, we could possibly end up in a place. which makes me so excited, but also afraid of wasting my time dreaming of something that seems so impossible. i am absolutely in love with that townhouse. i've realized that there is third-bedroom potential, which means we could stay there for a long time and have another child without being overcrowded.

work has been stressful this week. i have supervisors who are getting involved in my work without including me in the process, which is extremely frustrating. but the girl who replaced e. is actually doing really well, and i have t. to help with checking her work and training her. i can't wait until she is completely trained and i can take a little time off!

i got a referral bonus today. i'm going to give some to ella's savings and then put the rest into our savings towards a down payment.

helen cooper

here's elenora pointing to the author of that book...and saying "helen cooper" at the same time!
-

-
here are some other cute pictures of ella at bedtime with her books (and bubba and her binky):
-

-

-

-

-

-

my new dream home

http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/38-Kimball-Ave-Ipswich-MA-01938/2146024858_zpid/

share more

-

-

-

elenora seems to be bursting with two-word phrases. she is making all kinds of new combinations to fit the circumstances. this morning i came home and j. was sitting on the living room floor eating a breakfast bagel with ella swarming him saying "eat some" and "share more please" as he'd give her every three bites. it was so adorable.

she's answering everything with either "okay" or "yeah" now. which goes to show you how relaxed our language must be around here.

the best thing that ella is doing lately is that she likes to come from behind the living room chair and yell "PRISE!" and then she laughs so hard because she's just surprised a room of adults. i love this. love this. she gets to laughing at herself and us and thinks it's the best trick in her book.

-

-
today i read her a book we hadn't read in weeks. when we got to the last page she flipped the back cover as she said "author!" and sure enough there was a photo of the author. i asked her "what is her name?" and ella said "heh."

the author's name was "helen." how did she remember that???

and yesterday while we were outside we saw a blue reflector that our landlord had put on a pole and stood in the ground to mark the edge of the yard during the snowy season. this one pole had gotten run over and was laying, mangled on the ground last week, but my dad had straightened it out and put it back in the ground. yesterday i asked ella, "who fixed the blue thing?" and she said "poppy."

she sings the "clean up" song now. and when i put her pjs on after her tub she'll say "hoka-poke" as an indication that i should sing the hokey pokey.

last night as i dressed her after her tub she lay on her back and pointed individually at the toes on one of her feet and said "one, two, three, four, five" all by herself without my suggesting she count. i was pretty impressed that she pointed and stopped after 5. she really understands that these words stand for specific numbers of things rather than just a sequence of words to repeat.

does life get better than having a 1-year-old? if the economy weren't so bad i think i would start thinking about having another one.

i ran an errand today that i've been putting off. i had to go get my bride's maid dress for a.'s wedding, and david's bridal is just too far away. but i packed ella into the car and took her just to get it over with. she was pretty good in the car on the way there. but for some reason she has taken to really disliking being in new buildings lately. as soon as we got inside the store she started saying "all done. home!" is this normal? then on the way home we ended up on the wrong road and it took us forever to get back. i had to sing through all her favorite songs and recite poems to keep her happy. this is not the way i usually make her spend her afternoon play time. usually i do errands while she sleeps and save her awake time for playing and learning.

anyhow, i have the dress.

i met with a real estate agent today. she's going to take us to a condo or two on saturday morning, and she said she'd send me listings that match our criteria as they come up. i called USAA to see what kind of a loan we would qualify for, and his quote was pretty impressive. way over the price of what we've been looking at. but he basically said that we need to have a 5% down payment, which means that until we can raise approx. $10k we're on hold. it could be a year or more before we've done that.

today has been far too much running around. i'm sort of wiped.

we ended up having the corned beef and cabbage last night for dinner (it was ready at dinner time and we'd been smelling it all day). it turned out really good. i just put the corned beef in a large pot on the stove with a bottle of hard cider (i didn't have any beer in the house, or i would have used that), some water, some minced garlic and a bay leaf and i boiled it for hours. at the end i added the potatoes, carrots, celery, onion, and then the cabbage at the very last. i just wished i'd made a bigger corned beef.

anyhow, tonight we're having chicken caesar salad wraps. which isn't irish at all.

oh, but j.'s picking up some beer. so here's to st. patrick (whoever he is).

here's an exchange j. and i just had: he's watching an old boxing match (this is the normal state of affairs) and he tells me that this fight was shown to the soldiers over in Iraq and i say "when?" and he says "2003." and i say "jeez, this has been a long war. we didn't even know each other back then." (pause.) "now we're stuck, and got a kid." (we both laugh and j. gives me a pam-and-jim-style high five.) "still at war," he says.

better than ice cream

sunday morning i got to see my ella!

i got her up and "we" made coffee (she loves helping me, and gets this beaming smile on her face when the coffee pot magically starts percolating), and we went outside to enjoy the weather. it was almost 60 degrees yesterday, and we couldn't bear to be inside. the sun felt so good as i sipped my coffee and ran around the yard.

when we came back in, j. was still in bed, so i told elenora to go say "get up daddy" and she actually did toddle into our room and say "get up, dadda!" until he got up. too cute.

-

-

-
we walked to breakfast at sophia's. they love us there. as soon as we walk in the door the entire wait staff smiles and waves and calls "hello, ella!" on our way home we saw an open house sign pointing to a condo across the street from us, so we decided to stop in and look. ella was really ready for a nap, though, and as soon as we stepped into the condo she burst into tears and said "home! home!"

the condo itself was nothing very special. except for the price, the location and the slightly bigger space, it wasn't that great. it's so sad that a small condo that is barely bigger than our apartment sells for $219,000 still around here. when i buy a house i want it to feel like i'm getting a house--not an apartment with a mortgage. but tomorrow i am going to meet with a realtor for coffee to talk about things. i feel like if the right thing opened up at the right price around here in the next couple of years, we would go for it. i can see us living here forever. so creating a relationship with a realtor who can look out for that place will be a good thing.

although i really have no idea how buying a house goes.

(i'm cooking my corned beef right now, and it just smells amazing.)

after ella's nap we took her to manchester-by-the-sea to a playground right by the ocean. she was having a ton of fun climbing up a blue baby slide and then sliding down it. and we put her on the swings, which she's always loved, and she kept saying "swing!" we stopped by captain dusty's on our way to the car and split a pumpkin ice cream three ways. elenora loved it (we haven't given her much ice cream in her life) and kept saying "ice cream! eat some!"

i love being home with my family. ella is so much fun.

this afternoon before her nap she asked for a book and i gave her one and i said "here you go" and she responded "here you go!" so now we're moving on to 3-word phrases, i guess!

things that stay the same

my dad's visit went well. ella was very interested in poppy and what he was doing. though she's not inclined to let people other than j., momby, or myself pick her up or try to snuggle her. whenever anyone else tries she starts looking panicked and says "all done! all done!" i don't know if she thinks they are going to take her away from us or what. i guess that is just one of the things about not having a daycare baby. she's not used to other people being in her space.

but we had a good time. my dad and i got to take a long after-dinner walk on thursday night, and i took him all over ipswich. it's been so long since i've had my dad in my physical presence and all to myself, so it was really nice to connect with him. friday i worked two early hours and then was home the rest of the day. dad and i got elenora outside to play and took her down to the river to walk around. after dinner my dad and i headed to vt.

saturday my dad had people show up to help him pack, so i picked up some donuts, bagels and a box of joe to leave with them before i went out to breakfast with c. on my way to sugar and spice i stopped at a little country store and picked up muffalletta, greene's gourmet of vermont hot texas chipotle sauce, and some maple sugar candy for ella--things i can only get authentically in vt without paying for shipping and handling.

sugar and spice was the same as always. the huge sap buckets are already hanging off the maple trees around the property.

it's so comforting to have things that stay the same throughout your life.

i went from breakfast to a.'s house. i got my baby fix hanging out with her 1-and-a-half year old, naomi. we took the kids for a bike ride and made blondies and oatmeal peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and did some grocery shopping. i don't know how she packs so much into each day and still finds time to sew all of her beautiful quilts and handbags.

for dinner i took dad to three tomatoes, where i had the same dish i ate there a couple years ago on my 1 year wedding anniversary: pan fried artichoke hearts with kalamata olives and penne pasta. and i had them pack up some lemon chifon cake, which is the same cake, made by the same woman, that i had as my wedding cake. mmmm. j. and i enjoyed a slice after i arrived home.

spring ahead?

monday we got five inches of snow.

i'm finding it difficult to adjust to the time change. i had just barely adjusted to getting up at 6:30 and now it feels as if i'm dragging myself out of bed an hour earlier. i keep getting to work late (after 7:30 am). and i'm so tired in the afternoons and worn out in the evenings. i don't have energy to go work out or do pilates in the evenings. i can't wait until it's nice outside and i can just go take a long walk or jog after ella is in bed.

my dad arrives tomorrow and will spend a night and all of friday with us. i still think i'm going to leave ella at home when i take him to vt on friday night. she's been feeling better and sleeping better the last few nights, but i just think it will be so much easier to take a short vt trip without her.

i've just discovered the power of bleach and water. i hate using chemicals, but sometimes the all natural stuff just doesn't cut it. i've got the windows open (which my landlord would love) to air out the place.

elenora has learned her shapes without anybody really noticing. yesterday i questioned her about a puzzle that she has that has a circle, a square, a star, a triangle, and a hexagon. i asked her where each one was and she correctly pointed to each one. i didn't know she knew that. i've never drilled her on it. j. and momby both say that they haven't really stressed shapes either. so funny how much she picks up.

it's rainy today. hopefully the snow will all wash away and we can continue moving forward towards spring.

work is going okay. things are a little less stressful. the girl who replaced e. is pretty good, although it's still not as smooth as it used to be with e. for some reason e. and i always agreed with each other; and i really trusted her opinion. i can only really appreciate that now that i have to get used to someone new.

i bought a corned beef for st. patrick's day. i've never cooked one before, but market basket had small ones for fairly cheap, so i'll give it a try.

outside

yesterday morning we walked to breakfast downtown with no coats on! (well, actually, j. wore his coat and a winter hat and his basketball pants overtop of his pajamas and was, shall we say, a little bit overdressed.) it was so warm, and all the snow was melting. k. and i went to marblehead while ella napped, and when i got home j. was outside with her in the driveway with the tike trike. she and i stayed out for over a half hour just playing around. it was so lovely to be out. every time i said "do you want to go inside?" she would answer "outside! outside!"

j. and i went to dinner last night with j. and c. half way through our dinner with them they sort of announced that they had split up and c. was moving out next week to go back and live with her parents and pursue her own life. i got all choked up over it. they seem to have come to terms with this, and i know it's been a long time coming...but still, it was difficult. we spent a lot of the dinner talking with them about how they came to this decision and why they were splitting, and according to their standards j. and i should definitely not be married to each other. i found myself saying that if j. and i had lived together before marrying we probably would never have gotten married...but that i'm glad we got married even though there are a lot of things that are really hard. when we got in the car to go home i asked j. "are you glad that we got married?"

this is our first couples-friends who are breaking up. they started dating right around when j. and i started dating. j. has been our primary friend in the couple, but i really do care about c. and it will be so strange to hang out with j. without her.

i took her email address before we left. i really do wish her well.

today is day three of elenora being sick. she started a runny nose on thursday afternoon and has had a fever off and on for a few days now. i woke up with a sore throat yesterday and today.

this morning elenora and i went outside for over an hour. it was a gorgeous day in the 60s or something, and almost all of the snow melted away. elenora and i made a tiny snowman with rocks for eyes, nose, and buttons, and grass for a mouth and bow-tie, and a feather for an arm. ella was enchanted with him. by the afternoon he was a little pile of snow and rocks.

h. and i got out for a long walk around town this afternoon while elenora napped. i showed her more of ipswich, especially over the river and down labor in vain road to this beautiful, hilly area that overlooks the salt marshes. the sky was clear blue and it just couldn't have been nicer.

something elenora says a lot lately is "o-kay." i'll pull her pants on her and she'll point to the waist and say "tight" and i'll say "is it too tight?" and she'll say "o-kay." (as in "it's okay.") or i'll be about to feed her soup and she'll make a blowing sound and i'll say "is it too hot?" and she'll say "o-kay."

when i ask ella if she likes something she always asks me right back if j. likes it (or maybe she's just telling me that j. likes it, too). "do you like green beans, elenora?" "dadda." "do you like cheesey eggs?" "dadda." she really loves to hear that j. likes these things too.

-

-
if one of us starts singing a song that the other person (or momby) sings most often to her, she will always break into the first line of the song with a very emphatic statement of whose song you are singing. so if i start to sing "jesus loves me, this i know" she says "mam-aw! mam-aw!" until i stop singing and say "does mam-aw sing this song to you?" and she will nod and then i can continue.

these are the little things that make up my day. i love these little things.

i bought myself a pearl and silver ring in marblehead yesterday. i spent $40 on it. that is more than i spend on jewelry in a year. i never buy jewelry. and i certainly never buy something nice. but i really liked this ring and my wedding and engagement bands are at the jeweler's getting soddered together, so i thought i'd get it to wear in the meantime and then have it as a special ring for my other hand. today the pearl fell off and i can't find it. it makes me sad that i bothered to try to treat myself to something nice like that. j. thinks we'll find the pearl, but even if we do i will always know how easily it can fall apart.

i don't know if there's a lesson or metaphor in this or not.

i'm going to vt next friday. i can't wait to see my friends there. in the car with k. yesterday i mentioned how i still always answer the question "where are you from?" with "well, i'm originally from vermont, but i've been living in this area for 10 years now." instead of just saying "i am from ipswich." after we sat quietly for a moment i said "i guess it really does all stem from the fact that i actually do believe that vermont is better." and then we laughed pretty hard.

back to the good stuff

-
yesterday afternoon ella and i went to the library. we go just about every three weeks to return books and pick out new ones. she really loves the children's room there. they have a section with bean bag chairs and a huge teddy bear and they also have a fish tank with about 10 fish. we're working on our "quiet voice," but ella seemed to be so amped up yesterday that she went around the room calling out "another! another!" whenever she found another teddy bear and then saying "read!" and "sit!" to the bears. when i would say "elenora, we need to use our quiet voices. do you know how to be quiet?" she would say "shhh." and then go toddling off calling out to the bears.

when we walked to our car we saw a flag across the street. then we turned and saw two more by the library, and i said "there are two more flags." and elenora said "three."

earlier in the day she had similarly had two things and i said "and if you have one more, how many does that make?" and she said "three."

so now she has figured out that 1 + 2 = 3.
-

-
last night i went out with the girls. s. and k. and i went to salem to a restaurant called passage to india where we had amazing indian food. i had the vegetarian sampler ("thali") which was served with three different dishes and basmati rice and minty yogurt and a huge puffy bread that was hallow inside. our conversation was so good. i was so glad, since k. and s. don't really know each other at all. these things can be awkward with the wrong mix of people, but they got along great. s. doesn't really have a lot of other friends in this area besides me, so i'm glad i could introduce her to k. we got into all these stories about traveling and joked about various things.

i made barley soup yesterday in the crockpot to leave for j. there's a woman at work who always spoils me by giving me her extra fruit (she says "the husband" buys too much) and periodically will make a huge batch of soup and give me some at lunchtime. lately she's been giving me barley soup. i asked if it was hard to cook with, and she said it was super easy. so i tried making beef and barley soup yesterday and it came out really great. elenora loves it, too. barley is such a good source of protein and fiber and vitamins. i should make barley soup often. the bag of barley i have has a recipe on the back for an apple and barley pudding which sounds incredible (with cinnamon and eggs and nutmeg and stewed apples and raisins).

here's my beef and barley recipe:

ingredients:

stewing beef (if you're vegetarian, just use beans instead)
two large celery stalks (and all the celery leaves i could find on the bunch), diced
three large carrots, sliced
one large onion, diced
one large garlic clove, smashed and finely diced
some red wine, maybe a cup or so
dried thyme, to taste (fresh would be great too)
two bay leaves
1/4 to 1/2 cup of barley (this stuff gets big and soaks up the liquid, so the more barley you add, the more stock you'll want to add)
one can of diced tomatoes with the sauce
one+ box of emeril's chicken stock/broth (though beef or veggie is probably fine)
soy sauce, to taste

brown 1 inch pieces of stewing beef seasoned with salt and pepper. place in the crockpot. sautee the veggies in the same pan until the bottom of the pan starts to caramelize a bit and the veggies are a little soft. pour the wine over the veggies to deglaze the pan, and scrape up all the brown bits to get the flavor in the sauce. the alcoholic content will burn off completely, but the flavor is amazing. place veggies and sauce and all the remaining ingredients into the crockpot. i cooked it on a combination of low and high heat over the next 7 hours. i wasn't really sure what temperature to cook it on or for how long. maybe someone else knows? the beef was tender by the end. i added 3/4 cup of barley because it looked so tiny as i put it in. but my leftovers are not very soupy at all, so i recommend either adding less barley or more liquid than i did.

today i'm heading to m.'s house when elenora wakes up. ella likes seeing baby nathan.

we are supposed to get 40 degree weather this weekend and some rain, so i'm hopeful that the snow we just had dumped on us will disappear again.

my dad is heading up this way next week, so i'm probably going to be driving to vermont next weekend. i'm super extremely excited about this. i miss a. so much. but i think i should leave elenora here because my parents' house has zero food in it after their long absence, and there will be movers (they're clearing out the house of all the rest of their things) making noise. we'll see.

new at marriage

so i started this blog as a way for me to process through marital stuff. i felt it was a good, anonymous way to get my thoughts out, and it was easier for me than journaling at the time since i had more computer time than sitting-with-a-notebook time.

but over the last year and a half, as i've realized how many people are reading this, i've sort of kept a lot of the marital stuff to myself. when nobody read this, it was easy to be honest about problems we encountered in our relationship. now i process that elsewhere.

but this blog is titled "newatmarriage," and after three and a half years it is only honest to say that we still feel new at this from time to time.

the truth is that j. and i have had a rough couple of weeks with all of my extra job stress. we really were stepping on each others' toes a lot and getting on each others' nerves. today is good. yesterday was good. friday was good. thursday j. was ready to sleep elsewhere and we both thought "can we really do this?"

in the end, a long talk and some concessions on both sides has restored the peace.

our marriage is still not easy after almost 4 years. we are very different people. and while we both love a lot of the qualities the other person holds, we struggle to understand/accept many characteristics about each other.

these past few weeks i've just felt tired with the new schedule (getting up at 6:30 am) and the craziness at work. i come home with a lot less in my tank, and what i have usually goes to elenora. sometimes i think j. feels like nobody takes care of him anymore.

"taking care of him" has become making dinner and doing housework. when more is asked of me than that, the "but nobody takes care of me" retorts are so easily come by.

i hope everybody doesn't start worrying about us.

the other truth is that after our evening at duckworths i remember driving home and not even remembering what all we had been talking about since the conversation was so easy and enjoyable. and that is how it is when we are able to go out together; we easily slip back into our chummy, good-times, joking, romantic selves from the days of singlehood... ie. before having a baby. having elenora has added so much to our lives, but we're definitely still figuring out how to be a couple as well as being parents.

so there's a big dose of honesty. cheers.

little things

well, it's been a busy few weeks, which accounts for the dearth of writing. it doesn't mean that nothing is happening. ella continues to amaze us with her understanding, her communication, and her sweet spirit.

elenora is saying two word phrases now. the most common are: "pick up." "come on." "all done." and my favorite: "oh dear."

she counts to 10. i realized this one day when i said "one" and she said "two" and i said "two" and she said "three" and i said "three" and she said "four" all the way up to ten. i didn't know she knew all that.



some other fun things she says include: pull, pat, hold, keep, cold, push, pull, tight, little, big, drop, carry, surprise, play, clean...

if i ask her what mimi's name is she says "ju-ju". if i ask her what poppy's name is she says "jaw". if i ask her what mamaw's name is she says "nona". and if i ask her what pop-pop's name is she says "roh". which is all close enough and fairly impressive.

her favorite books right now include the "little bear" series and "blueberries for sal" and a book called "noisy nora" and "a child's calendar" by john updike.

as far as her behavior, she is such a very good little girl. she doesn't really have to be told things over and over as far as what to do and what not to do. like with the hyacinth. when we first got it i told her she could pat it, but she can't pull or pluck at it. and when she goes over to touch it she says "pat" and is very gentle. and she doesn't go around pulling books off of the bookshelves in the living room. she knows that one holds "dadda's books" and one holds "mama's books" and they are not to be touched. oh, and we've made progress on the food refusal thing, too! a few nights ago she was turning her head away and saying "milk" and i said that i wanted her to chew on the bite i was offering her while i went to get her milk. she started screwing up her face as if to throw a little fit, but i repeated what i wanted and she opened her mouth and ate her bite while i got her milk. i was so pleased with her! and then last night i was offering her fish (which isn't something i often offer her, but i should do more of) and she was turning away her head and i said "ella, i want you to try this" and she opened her mouth and ate it and then i didn't have anymore problems with her on that. it's very rewarding to see consistency paying off.

this week we had one day where the temperature outside reached 59 degrees and all the snow melted and ella and i went to long hill to play with s. and aurora in the mud. we saw flowers poking their buds out of the mulch and elenora and aurora both sat in the crook of a tree.

today it's snowing and by tomorrow we may accumulate over a foot of snow. welcome, march.

we had a nice playdate with e. and penelope on tuesday afternoon. penelope and elenora are so sweet together. and i so appreciate being able to talk with e. about work issues.

work has really been a stresser lately. i really feel like i need a vacation, but i know i can't take one until things are more settled.

last night i went to j.'s concert at gordon. this was only the third concert of his that i've been able to go to since ella was born, and it was the first one that i've gone to alone.

we went to church today. as i left the nursery i peeked in through the glass window and saw her looking for me. she burst into tears. poor baby. she's just so used to being watched by j., myself, and momby. it's hard for her to be left with strangers. the nursery workers said that she calmed down and had fun until almost the time when we came to get her. church went an hour and a half--until almost naptime, and an hour past lunch--so it's understandable that she was upset. i don't know how to fix that whole timing thing. this church doesn't have an early service, so we don't even have that option without switching churches. i'm not completely in love with this church, although the people are pretty friendly and i like that it's not just all gordon students and gordon grads. but i want to give the church a fair shake before trying another one.

elenora fell asleep in my arms this week. monday afternoon she didn't take a nap for some reason. so i got her ready for bed a half hour earlier than usual. i rocked and snuggled her and sang to her and when i was done her body was so still that i carefully stood up and looked in the mirror and she had completely fallen asleep in my arms! this was the first time she's done that since i flew to WA last May for the cross-country trip, so it was so precious to me. i never get to hold her while she sleeps. i walked slowly to the living room to show j., and then he helped me get her into her crib. she was so exhausted she never woke up.

i think that about catches things up. i'm trying to remember all the sweet little moments so that i don't ever forget them. if i think of more, i'll add them.