happy birthday, j.!

i just want to take this space to say what a kind and loving husband i have. it's been an honor to spend the past 6 years with him, and i look forward to many more.

i love you, j.! (and thanks for last night ;)

catching up

i just finished the brothers karamazov.  ah, i love that book.

j. and i have spent a hectic week trying to decide on whether to put in an offer on a condo we saw on sunday morning.  by monday night we'd signed papers and written a good faith check, but with the stipulation for our realtor to hold onto those things until we make a decision.  since then we've sought advice from many people, and have made contact with a really helpful mortgage guy who helped j. and c. buy a house last fall.  he's looking into all kinds of factors and seems really knowledgeable about the various programs that would help us get the best rates, etc.  we will probably meet with him on monday (j.'s birthday!) to make a decision about whether it's wise for us to move forwards on this or not.

so crazy.  we'd just accepted that we would not be buying a house and we'd decided to just enjoy our life here...bought this beautiful computer, etc.  now since this one condo has come on the market we're scrambling to decide on whether to flip our lives around.

we had our 4 year wedding anniversary last week.  j. gave me a diamond necklace that sparkles so beautifully.  we went to dinner with j. and m., who share our anniversary, on thursday night, and then went to country garden inn friday night.  this anniversary was kind of a reflective one for us...thinking about how we can move forwards and make our relationship better than it is.  we're both committed to our marriage and to each other, but we realize that sometimes it's difficult for us to manage the task of living together since we're so different.  i'm sure there are ways (small ways even) that we could change in order to make daily life more mutually satisfactory.  

today i took elenora to the beach.  it was the first sunny day in a long time.  we heard the other day that there have been about 3 sunny days in june so far.  so we were really happy to be out!  first i took her to the natural foods store to pick up some fruit.  then we went on a special mission to pick up a surprise present for j.'s birthday.  i thought maybe we'd just go to russell orchard afterwards, but on the way there ella started saying "beach!" (which is beyond russell orchard, on the same road) and so i took her to the beach.  as we walked up the boardwalk to the ocean she suddenly said "crane beach," which is the correct name of the beach...but i hadn't said that in a long time.  it's so calming to go there with her, because she's really good at wandering around my circumference and discovering things on her own.  today she was fascinated by the seaweed, and also by a kite that a little girl was flying.

tonight before her tubby i put elenora on her potty like i do every night and suddenly i heard her tinkling into the potty!  i was so excited, i just clapped and said "yay!  you're going pee-pee in the potty!" and she got excited, too, because i think this was the first time that she really understood the reason for this sitting-on-the-potty thing.  i called j. in and he clapped too, so hopefully all the positive reinforcement will help her to do that again.  i have big plans for leaving diapers behind right around her birthday, and that is not so far away.

wednesday night of this week we picked up our first CSA share at the farm.  lots of fresh greens and radishes and cilantro.  elenora surprised me by wanting to try a radish slice from my salad, and then she liked it and ate a whole bunch of slices.  we've been eating a lot of fish lately, too, since i've discovered the ipswich shellfish company.  you can't get fish fresher than that.  and scallops, too.  we've been eating altogether most nights as a family since elenora goes to bed later now, and i think that's been really good for her trying new things.  she loves fish, and enjoyed the scallops.  oh man it's good.

tomorrow morning j. and i head out on our first road trip since elenora's birth--sans ella!  we're going to vt for a wedding i'm in, and momby is staying with ella.  this will be the furthest we've both ever been away from her at the same time.  she won't even miss us with her mam-aw around.

looks like...

elenora makes "looks like" associations all the time.  today i came home from work with a peach for her and i asked her "ella, what is this?" and she said "peach" and i said "do you want to smell it?" so she did.  then she said "looks like mango."

then we were reading "panda bear panda bear what do you see?" and she said "looks like polar bear."

then she was playing with a little charm bracelet from my mom and she pointed to the gold star and said "looks like a star fish."

then we were sitting on the rug having a grape snack and she said "looks like olives."

brilliant.

what's going on?

tonight as i fed ella her dinner a car alarm started beeping in our neighborhood.  elenora said "what's going on?" and then she said "what's going off?" because she wanted it off, and then she laughed at her own joke.  she does that a lot--makes herself laugh.  her most common joke is to take any word and to add the word "pickle" in front of it: "pickle puppy" etc.  she thinks it's so funny.  

after her tubby tonight she was holding her little toy snail and she covered it up with her hands and said "snail disappeared" and i said "where is it?" and pretended to look around confusedly.  and then she pulled it out and said "there it is!" and laughed delightedly.

as i washed up the dinner dishes i could hear her over the monitor singing "skinnamarinkidinkidoo i love you" to herself.

we met up with aurora and s. today at long hill after ella's nap.  on the way there i said "how old are you?" and she said "one" and then i said "how old is aurora?" (she just had her birthday) and ella answered "two."

yesterday as j. changed elenora's diaper he asked her "when we went to miss suzy's house, did she have a cat?" now, this was an event that happened once, about a month ago.  ella said "yeah."  j. was impressed so he threw out "what was the kitty's name?" and without missing a beat ella said "tigger" and she was right!  j. couldn't believe it and elenora started laughing because she was also so pleased with herself.  

we took ella to aurora's birthday party on sunday afternoon.  the girls are just so sweet together.  they give each other hugs and are very interested in where the other one is.  ella was really good during the present opening and just stood to the side putting the tissue paper in and out of a large gift bag.

at long hill ella suddenly exclaimed "bunny! bunny!" and there was a real brown bunny right in front of us on the path of the gardens.  it wasn't even too afraid of us, and we followed it around the gardens for about 20 minutes.  ella said it was "eating clover" and that it was a "humongous bunny!"  well, it's certainly the biggest one she's ever seen.

she sings more and more every day.  she always wants us to sing, or to sing herself.  it's so sweet to hear her little voice.

another monologue

(playing with a teddy bear, a rocking chair and a blanket.)

now will you rock.

one two three rock.

teddy bear fell down.

oh my goodness. oh my goodness.

blanket fell down. oh dear. go in there blanket.

teddy bear rock.

oh ella. oh ella. go in there ella.

teddy bear come in this.

shoe coming off.

turn around.

"you go away, said the turtle" (semi-quoting frog and toad)

get on shoe. get on flip flop.

(puts shoe on herself)

look at you.

need some water

get off the rocking chair.

teddy bear, smell these. (brings him to flowers)

these flowers.

glass of water. having a drink.

fresh cold water.

having a drink. 

little hands cold.

feel it.

having a drink. having a snack.

bend down.

water bottle. water bottle cup. 

having a snack.

holding it.

feel it. feel it. cold.

not cold.

(sees a petal that fell off the flower)

trash. in the kitchen. 

(drops water bottle behind the rocking chair.)

okay, round here.

(finds a cup)

purple cup. purple cup. (pretends to drink) need sugar.

our vacation to NC

so here is the blog my mom has been waiting for! 

wednesday morning momby came over and we all piled into the car and drove to the airport to go to NC to see my parents. our flight was so easy. just checked in, boarded, flew, and got picked up. we even had an empty seat next to us so elenora could crawl around a bit. mostly we read "little bear" books (i got a new one about little bear's visit to his grandmother and grandfather's house) and put stickers in a notebook. and ate snacks. she was so good. as everyone boarded the airplane and walked past our seat she looked up at them and said "hi honey!" to each person. made everyone smile. also, when we were sitting at our gate, ella saw a baby crawling and she said "not a baby anymore." and i said "you're not a baby anymore?" and she said "no" and i said "what are you?" and she said "cutie."

we arrived by noon and my mom picked us up. elenora is usually shy about going to people she hasn't seen in awhile, but she went right to my mom. they really have a special connection. mom took us by her church on the way to her house, and we went inside. elenora walked through saying "humongous church!" think crystal cathedral. i've never seen a place this big.

ella didn't get her nap started until about 2 something, so she slept until 4 something. then we went on a tour of the wycliffe campus and stopped by my dad's work to say hi. it was so hot outside, and muggy, so we decided to go swimming. there was a baby pool with about 2 feet of water in it, and elenora just loved walking around in there and floating on her back.

thursday morning while i dressed elenora she said "ella has a belly button." and then she said "mommy has a belly button." and then she said "does mimi have a belly button?" and i said "ask her." and so she asked my mom and my mom showed her, and then ella asked "does poppy have a belly button?" and my mom said yes, and ella said "everybody has a belly button!" and then she said "even lorien has a belly button!" and then she said "even aunt dawn has a belly button!"

we took a walk around my mom's campus to meet her coworkers and see where she works. as we walked around my mom found a feather and handed it to elenora and ella said "soft. comes from a bird." then we went through a museum and then met up with a group of teenagers that was touring the campus to watch a presentation about what my mom does. at one point the teens started laughing and ella said "everybody's laughing!" and she started laughing too. we walked through the cafeteria, which had flags of every nation hanging from the ceiling, and ella said "so many flags." and my mom asked her if she could find the american flag. ella looked around and then pointed to a far part of the room and said "there it is!"

some lady sitting a bit away from us said "that is amazing. how old is she?"

during ella's nap my mom took me to cvs and while we were gone ella woke up and my dad got her up. she and her poppy haven't had a lot of time to bond, so when he called us elenora was crying pretty hard. i felt so badly that i had left her. but when i got back my dad had taken elenora outside to a pond and she and he were very happy together. i know it made him feel good to be able to make her feel better. and later that evening when he came home for dinner she smiled really big and was much more at ease with him.

friday my dad took off time from work and he and my mom took us to a nature center. it was the perfect, low-key place to take ella. the first thing we saw when we walked in was a lot of chicks running around in a cage. and then we saw little mice, and live owls, and all kinds of different animals. there was a butterfly pavilion to walk through and a children's play area with a small waterfall and pool to play with rubber frogs in. it was really a lot of fun, and we got ella back in time for her nap.

friday afternoon we again went swimming, and then after dinner we went to an ice cream social behind my parents' apartment.

the best part of the whole trip was having my own mother around to take care of me. i never get taken care of, so it was a true vacation. i really appreciate it mom.

something else that was really neat was seeing how at ease ella was in my parents' home. she was such a sweetheart and didn't even ever cry about going to bed. she was a snuggler and was so sweet to everyone. when mom and i would be cooking, ella would come to the kitchen door and say "sing uncle joe" and we would sing it. and she would dance. and then she'd say "sing another song." and we'd ask her which one. and she'd say "sing ella bella bee song." and we'd sing it, and she'd dance. my mom is good about getting right into songs with elenora and doing hand motions that ella would try to imitate. we had such fun.

saturday's flight was not so great. the check in kiosks were on the fritz and by the time i got to the front of the line to check in they told me i was too late to check in for my flight. i was so angry, since i still had a half hour before my flight had to leave, and i'd been there for over a half hour already waiting to check in. the man said "they've booked you on another flight." and i said "how is that possible?" and he said "the other flight is full." and i said "how is that possible, since i have a ticket and i'm here, and there's still time for me to get on that plane?" and he just shrugged his shoulders and my blood pressure went through the roof and i said "it's not right of them to just give my plane ticket away." and he just shrugged his shoulders again. i was supposed to sit in a window seat and arrive in boston by noon. instead, we were placed in the middle seat on a flight that arrived close to 2 pm. by the time j. picked us up and we stopped for lunch and went home, it was 4 pm and ella hadn't napped at all. so we just kept her up a little bit more and put her to bed early. i also crawled into bed at 6 pm to take a nap.

i slept until the next morning.

family news (as written to c.)

We didn't get to church today. I got Ella up and was getting everyone ready when j. remembered that they have a different summer schedule that starts an hour earlier. So we totally missed it. And last week we didn't go because we'd gone to Maine for all of Saturday and j. doesn't like to fill up the weekends with two full days, and the week before that we didn't go to church because I was in VT. So we're not doing too good with the whole church thing.

So this morning Ella and I stopped downtown for an iced coffee and then went to that little park on the ocean again. h. met us there and we had a lovely morning just relaxing and playing. It was such a gorgeous, sunny day. Ella wore a dress that was Lorien's and I was just reminded of Lorien so much! Both Elenora and her cousin have this beautiful, curly, strawberry blonde hair, so it kind of brought me back to my times with Lorien when she was little.

Yesterday we took Elenora to the mall with momby and we got family photos. I'm so excited about them. We haven't ever gotten professional family photos before, so it is so special to have these photos. I love them. Ella is really smiling and so happy in them. And we got some nice photos of Ella with her mam-aw to give momby for her birthday.

Speaking of which, this month is ridiculously busy. Our anniversary, momby's birthday, Father's Day, j.'s birthday, my trip to NC, and a trip to VT for a wedding. So crazy.

We leave for NC this wednesday. I'm pretty excited about going. I found two books at the library that are for children and talk about flying on an airplane. One of them is called "my first airplane ride" and is about a boy going to see his grandma. So Ella is getting really familiar with what "going on an airplane ride" looks like and she knows we're going on an airplane to see her Mimi and Poppy.

As for Ella's new schedule, well, for two nights Ella seemed to fall asleep quickly. Then for a few nights she still stayed up and played for about 40 minutes. Tonight she fell asleep really quickly, though. So I think I'll stick with the 7 pm bedtime. It seems to give us more time to go out in the afternoon, and also lets us have dinners together.

Friday night I went to the mall with my friend s. and did all of the birthday shopping for j. and momby, and then we went to Barnes & Noble and looked at books (I got 3 for Ella and "Far From the Madding Crowd," by Thomas Hardy, for myself). I got a cinnamon latte with sugar substitute and it was the sweetest thing I've tasted in a week because I've been doing a sugar-free/carb-free diet since last Sunday. Mmmm. It tasted so decadent!

Last night j. and I had a date after the photos. momby took Ella home and j. and I ate dinner outside at the Cheesecake Factory and then went and hit golf balls. So much fun.

This afternoon we took Elenora golfing. Well, j. golfed and Ella and I rode in the golf cart and held the flags out of the holes when j. hit the balls in. I think Elenora really enjoyed herself.

while i was working.

while i was at work this morning, j. sent me the following transcript of ella's playtime:

good one.
right there.
playmat.
little blanket.
need a hat.

(gets my hat on her rocking chair)
(puts on my hat, backwards)
(takes off hat)
(picks up wipies on coffee table)
(sees desitin box)

desitin.
bring out here

(taking basketball hoop)

bring it.
bring a basketball over there.

(spins the numbers on the hoop)
(continues spinning the numbers, looking at me smiling)

bubba.
bubba smell these.

(takes him to flowers)

ella smell these.

(smells them)
(snorts, walking away)

need a hat.

(puts hat back on)

bring a pillow over there.
purple pillow ok.

(puts 2nd pillow down)

one two three.
another pillow.
one two three.

(drops 3rd pillow)

bring it.
another pillow.

(picks up bubba)

dance with him.

(does brief waltz with bubba)

dancing.
bring another pillow.
soft.
sit on them.
sit on them.
now I sit. sit. sit. sit.
bubba sit to you.
bubba sit a purple pillow.
oh, oh animals.
dats a teddy bear.
animals sit over here.
dis cow. moo.
dis cow.
blanket on toes. blanket.

(sneezes)

blanket on toes.
goodnight ella. goodnight ella.
teddy bear. teddy bear. hug.
i love you teddy bear.
dis one.
little brown cow. little brown cow.

change of schedule

so for a week i found elenora staying up long after i put her to bed at 6:30 pm. i'd hear her playing in her crib until 8:40 pm some nights. monday night she stayed awake until she was so overtired she started screaming from her crib at 9 pm: "pick you uuuuup. mommy, okaaaaaay. pick up. okaaaaaay." it was really sad.

so we've decided to try putting her to bed a half hour later. maybe she just doesn't need to go to bed quite so early anymore? last night we tried bedtime at 7 pm, and at 7:22 i listened to the monitor for over a minute and didn't hear a peep. hopefully that is that.

i took elenora to a new park yesterday on great neck, which is a peninsula off of ipswich town. this park is located right across the street from a beautiful little beach, and you can watch the sailboats going by. the park itself has a huge structure that looks like a pirate ship with windows in the ship's hull to climb in and out of and a large web for children to climb up/through. there are also swings, a gazeebo, and various play structures, like a hippo that has its mouth wide open as a tunnel for kids to climb through, a globe of the world, a musical instrument kind of like a metalic piano, two croccodiles to sit on, and some spinny seats. we met up with frannie and j., who we hadn't seen in awhile, and ella enjoyed playing with her 7-year-old friend.

since we had a longer afternoon playtime than usual, we stopped by the library on the way home and got new books. ella likes to toddle through the children's room saying "teddy bear! library!" and then she will find the teddy bear and say things like "teddy bear sit here. find a book. read a book." good thing the children's room is located far away from the rest of the library.

k. came over last night and i got to hear all about her date. i'm so happy for her and hope this guy continues to be as nice and genuine as he seems.